[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]About the author:

Renate Weber, born in 1980, works as  a secondary school teacher. With her recently published  healing fairy tale “FULNA” and her autobiographical novel “Renate –or the journey to the centre of the self”  she wants to encourage people to overcome burnout, depression and trauma. The autobiographical novel contains many pictures she painted and also an integrated healing fairy tale that is based on Fulna’s story. The novel will appear in 2017.

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[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Blurp:

It seems to be a normal day for chief editor Mr Raffel. While editing an article on burnout he crosses out the fantasy figures that have helped a young woman to overcome her burnout. He is unaware of the upcoming change in his life: Fulna – the cheeky red dragonlady – hatches in his office. With her innocent questions she is prone to turn Mr Raffel’s world “upside down”. That way also his family learns about the dragonlady’s existence. At first the dragonbaby appears to be a tiresome duty to Mr Raffel. But after a while the chief editor realizes that he is lacking something in his successful and yet hectic life… A healing fairy tale for adults and children that is worth thinking about.

As paperback you can order “Fulna” at BOD or Amazon.de (ISBN: 9783741280108) for 7,99 Euro. It is also available in Spanish and French. For more information see: www.wiedergeborene.de.[/vc_column_text][vc_btn title=”Order now” color=”danger” size=”lg” align=”center” i_icon_fontawesome=”fa fa-shopping-cart” link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.de%2FFulna-healing-fairy-Renate-Weber%2Fdp%2F3741280100%2Fref%3Dsr_1_1%3Fie%3DUTF8%26qid%3D1474366154%26sr%3D8-1%26keywords%3DFulna%253A%2Ba%2Bhealing%2Bfairy%2Btale||target:%20_blank|” add_icon=”true”][vc_column_text]Here comes the link for the English ebook (2,99 special offer):[/vc_column_text][vc_btn title=”Order now” color=”danger” size=”lg” align=”center” i_icon_fontawesome=”fa fa-shopping-cart” link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.de%2FFulna-healing-fairy-Renate-Weber-ebook%2Fdp%2FB01LX1MA5X%2Fref%3Dtmm_kin_swatch_0%3F_encoding%3DUTF8||target:%20_blank|” add_icon=”true”][vc_single_image image=”7057″ img_size=”large” alignment=”center”][/vc_column][/vc_row]

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]“Fulna” a healing fairy tale by Renate Weber can soon be ordered at BOD or Amazon. Its ISBN is: 9783741280108. It can now be purchased as  a paperback (7,99 Euro) (see “order button” below).[/vc_column_text][vc_btn title=”Order now” color=”danger” size=”lg” align=”center” i_icon_fontawesome=”fa fa-shopping-cart” link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.de%2FFulna-healing-fairy-Renate-Weber%2Fdp%2F3741280100%2Fref%3Dsr_1_1%3Fie%3DUTF8%26qid%3D1474366154%26sr%3D8-1%26keywords%3DFulna%253A%2Ba%2Bhealing%2Bfairy%2Btale|||” add_icon=”true”][vc_column_text]Here comes the link for the English ebook (2,99 special offer):[/vc_column_text][vc_btn title=”Order now” color=”danger” size=”lg” align=”center” i_icon_fontawesome=”fa fa-shopping-cart” link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.de%2FFulna-healing-fairy-Renate-Weber-ebook%2Fdp%2FB01LX1MA5X%2F|||” add_icon=”true”][vc_column_text]

Fulna

It had become late again. The chief editor had edited the article until deep into the night. Everything had to be done until the editorial deadline. Like always some reporters had turned in their story at the very last minute. Mr Raffel sighed profoundly: -How come that nobody has explained to that journalist that she is only to write about 2000 signs??!

Mr Raffel tussled once again his black short hair. He looked outside the window: His office was the only one that was still illuminated. His colleagues had long gone home. The chief editor looked at his face reflected in the window: He saw his deep eye rings.

–I really should look after myself better. Otherwise Mrs Timber can interview me about burnout soon.

Unsatisfied Mr Raffel looked at the article in front of him. It was only corrected halfway. Mr Raffel didn’t know what to cross out any more. The article was about a burnout-patient who had overcome her burnout by writing a healing fairy tale in a psychosomatic clinic.

–This is way too detailed, murmured the chief-editor and crossed out the names of the fairy tale characters. –We also don’t do any advertising for anyone!, he shouted and crossed out the homepage where the characters were shown.

–That the patient flees to a Buddhist sanctuary after her stay in the clinic also has to be eliminated completely!

The chief-editor looked at the calculated number of signs in his laptop and leaned back satisfied. –Exactly 1999 signs. I did it!, he said to himself. Suddenly he heard a rumbling noise and turned around:

But there was nobody there. –I am really overworked. Now my imagination is playing tricks on me, he said trying to calm himself. At that moment the light turned out. Mr Raffel sensed that the floor was vibrating under his feet. He heard a shrill whistling. Then there was a hiss. With trembling fingers Mr Raffel reached for the button of his architect’s lamp. But it didn’t help. His office stayed in the darkness. Soon his eyes adjusted to the darkness. The full moon appeared behind a cloud and illuminated the office with its silvery rays.

At that instant Mr Raffel saw something crouching on the floor. It was not bigger than a lizard. –Outsch!, shouted the chief-editor, jumped from his chair and touched his foot. Stunned he looked at the still smoking hole in this shoe. This was weird. But what was even more strange was the flame that burnt his other shoe.

Mr Raffel took off his burnt shoe and made a few steps backward, took off his shoe with the hole. His big digit stood out of the sock. When Mr Raffel touched it, he sensed that there were furrows. Suddenly he looked at his side and then he saw it:

The creature sat on a box with old magazine editions and looked curiously with its big blue eyes. When it opened his tiny mouth for another flame, Mr Raffel saw that it had red scales and black spines. He had a tiny dragon in front of him.

The dragon opened his wings that were no bigger than a bat’s and moved them excitedly. The chief-editor rubbed his eyes and sensed something hard: When he took it out he saw that it was a piece of an eggshell.

–Have you hatched lately?, he asked the red dragon stunned.

–You really understand quickly, the red dragon responded cheekily.

-What is your name, dragon?

-Fulna, and for your information, I am a lady dragon, the creature told him proudly.

–Well, Fulna, you can’t stay here, for my colleagues might see you.

-Bad luck for them, grunted the dragon lady.

–Maybe they will do you harm, threatened the chief-editor.

-You have to hide me someplace safe.

-Why should I do that?

-Because you are responsible for me now.

-Why?

-Well, my light-greetings, remember?

-What kind of greeting?

-Well, the imprint of my claws in your foot. You are my foster daddy until I am fully grown up.

-Hhm. And how long does this take?

-Until I am able to fly.

-You want me to teach you how to fly?!

-No. You only have to feed me, until it is my turn to fly away. By the way, what are you doing here?

-I am a chief-editor.

-What is a chief-editor?

-Well, I make a newspaper for humans.

-Newspaper, sounds yummy. I am very hungry.

-But a newspaper is nothing to eat. It is a message from humans to humans.

-And what are you doing with it?

-I read what some people have written, shorten it and rewrite it.

-Can you teach that to me?

-You would have to learn how to read and write.

-Fantastic! Can you teach me that as well?, asked the dragonlady and her eyes shone with happiness.

-I don’t have even enough time for myself with all the work I am doing. How should I find time to care for a dragon, then?

-You have to find time for me. You are wearing my sign.

-I am overworked. Maybe I am imagining this all. I am going home now.

-Hey, you can’t leave me here. And I am no imagination, look at your digit!

-That’s enough! I am leaving.

-Tell me, what is your name?

-Bjoern.

-Well, Bjoern, what I told you about the sign is the truth.

-I could take you to the zoo, where you can be with the other animals.

-Other animals?! I am a dragonlady and I belong to the human who wears my sign. You are to teach me everything that you know of. This reading thing.

-But if my colleagues will see you they will take you to the zoo.

-You have to hide me in a secret place. You can also bring the rats and bats there.

-Rats and bats? Where should I take them from?

-Well, you are big enough to catch them for me!

-Never! I am tired.

-Then show me where I can sleep. Or I will live at your home“

-Never ever! You can sleep in the broom closet. It is opened rarely and only by the cleaning women. If they open the door you have to hide, got it?

-Ok. And my food?

-I will go to the pet shop tomorrow, said the chief-editor with a sigh.

-But I am hungry now.

-Then eat this bar of chocolate here. I will open it for you, said Mr Raffel and opened the bar of chocolate.

-You have to put it in front of my mouth. I can’t fly yet, Fulna complained.

-You are right. You have hatched only lately.

-Don’t make fun of me!, cried the dragonlady. But at that moment Mr Raffel brought the bar of chocalate in front of Fulna’s mouth. It was the first contact between human and dragon.[/vc_column_text][vc_single_image image=”7058″ img_size=”large” alignment=”center”][vc_column_text][…]

In 2017 the autobiographical novel “Renate or the journey to the centre of the self” will be published. It contains an integrated healing fairy tale that is based on Fulna’s story. [/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]How to name my child?

All parents have to ask themselves this very question. Often mother and father have a precise idea how to now the new life. When we are children and also later as adults we may not question why we were named like that. Some however may want to change their name because they are in one way or another not comfortable with it. Or it is because they want to forget the story that lies behind this name: their own story.

Why do I write about this? Because it became clear to me that also my name “Renate” had an influence on how my parents looked at me from the first day on. And consequently how I looked at my own self. Regardless of the kind of childhood we experience we are always shaped by the losses, role models and the pride in our own name. Unconsciously we pass this on to the next generation: to our children. This becomes clear when they are named after a person their parents have known or have a certain idea of.

And here comes the problem: The newborn child is already entangled in inner parts or stories that exist “outside” his true- individual self. Thus it is possible that every time parents look at their child, they look at the same time at the person the child is named after. Thereby the feelings for that person are transferred to the child. Lateron it unconsciously identifies with that person and also connects with the person’s lifestory.

For my own life this means that I connect with the story of my Aunt Renate. She died in Eastern Germany during the first years of Russian occupation. In those days after the Second World War nearly all children were malnourished and also many old people died of hunger. My mother and her two sisters had Typhus, but is was Renate who suffered the most from it. After 10 days in a hopelessly overcrowded and under-equipped hospital she died alone. Her mother was not allowed to visit her because the authorities feared the spreading of the disease. My grandmother had to leave her other children in the care of her neighbor in order to sell bedlinen to nourish her offspring. The children’s father had bled to death at the frontline in Russia after a shot in the knee.

Again and Again I asked my mother about this „Aunt Renate“. I kept imagining her, a bony girl of 10 years lying on the floor of a crowded hospital. I could “feel” how lonely she must have felt among all those dying people. It was known at that time that nobody who entered the badly equipped hospital would leave it alive.

She kept her daughter’s illness secret from the authorities. As Renate suffered most from the three siblings  it was obvious to their neighbor that she had Typhus. Thus the authorities were informed and my grandma was forced to take her daughter to the local hospital. She put the weak 10-year old girl on her bicycle and brought her there. My mother –by then only 6 years old-saw the desperate conditions in the hospital. Ten days later her sister was dead and had to be buried. As my grandma didn’t have the money for a coffin she let her old wardrobe made into one.  In the  mourning hall my mother saw the bony corps inside the makeshift coffin. When the tiny coffin was finally lowered into the earth my mum remembered that her sister’s name RENATE meant that she would be reborn again. At this instant she decided that if she ever had a baby girl she would name it Renate. That way her sister could come “back” and live on a better life.

33 years later I was born. As a child I often felt a deep sadness and I wept without knowing why. Today I know that I was trying to live a part of my dead aunt’s life-as her replacement. I tried to make up to the fact, that she had to die when she was only 10 years old whereas I was lucky enough to live on.

This went on until one day at my psychologists’ office. We did a systemic research and made a  family constellation. Curiously all the cushions that represented my aunt, her siblings and her mother and grandmother were formed as a cross. It may sound weird but when I went into “contact” with my aunt Renate I heard her say (in my head): -Let me go! It is okay. I didn’t want to live anymore. I am fine where I am now. You have to life your own life!

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But I couldn’t let go. I was holding on to the vision of my aunt. Because-as sad as her fate might have been-imagining her has always given me the feeling not to be alone. Under tears and a crucial pain I finally let go off my aunt Renate. I was aged 36 years now. Letting go was a way to find my true self. And while writing my autobiographical healing novel it was that aunt Renate finally found a place where she was memorized and could rest in peace at the same time. It was the day when my homepage www.wiedergeborene.de was put online that I truly had the feeling, of having made her a memorial.

It was now up to me and me alone to go looking for it: my place in the world.

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To reach the actual state of forgiveness will probably remain a lifelong process for me. Maybe there exists such a state as “partial forgiveness”. To understand that the perpetrators or “aggressors” have in one way or another been victims themselves does not necessarily help to “mend” everything. It needs an enormous amount of emotional energy to let go all the hurt, anger and confusion. This way of healing can demand of us a lot: It may include to look (in our imagination) into the aggressor’s eye. In the best case with a sad smile accompanied by a new understanding or even forgiveness. This may happen to put aside past experiences in a way that enables us to lead a new life with a new, free self.

As the trauma of being powerless and excluded has repeated itsself in similar ways it may be my task to see today’s aggressors under a new light: To realize that behind all viciousness and derogatory behaviour there is a victim. And it seems that this victim has once chosen the negative, aggressive and mean path. It makes me believe that controlling other people and derogatory behaviour are the only way for the aggressor not to have to look at his younger self that was in need of  emotional support there and then. And maybe this is the point where I am similar to the aggressor. It was in vain that I tried to hide those hurt parts away. But then, after having realized that the pain only “moved within my whole body” I chose to try a different way. This way was very painful at last it was a path that led me to myself and to everything I can or could be. I don’t believe I can forgive “just like this”, without feeling the hurt again and the deep sadness that lies beneath it.  For my part I could “forgive” only by my mind, because I was afraid to express those feelings, in fear they would never end. The psychologist Enright describes “Anger, hate, bitterness and hurt” as the “four walls of a prisoncell” that the victim is  surround by. “Forgiveness is the key to open this prisoncell“.

High Sensitive Persons (=HSP) are often referred to as such because they are aware of their fellow people’s feelings. This “gift” can include the ability to “see behind people’s masks” but also futuristic prophecies (for example about a lost aircraft in the depths of the Amazonas which has been found due to such a “prophecy”). It is a fact that a HSP’s brain’s network differs from a Non-HSP brain. Therefore highsensitivity is seen as a genetic disposition to have a wide-ranged perception of feelings, atmospheres and noises. Scientists found out that approximately 20 % of mankind possess the brain of a HSP. It is believed that especially in the “old days” HSPs were needed to warn their tribe about forthcoming dangers. They often incorporated the “professions” of healers or counselors of the chief/king.

This sixth sense of the HSP can be a curse and a blessing at the same time. A curse because the HSP can’t control or stop it. A blessing because it offers a deep insight into one’s one soul and into the soul of your fellow mates. It also has its drawbacks: The HSP often overestimates the depths of the relationships it has with other people. This is due to the fact that the others often don’t correspond to the HSP’s deep and wide range of feelings. HSP often withdraw early  from crowds and parties because they need time to process the abundance of information they have perceived. To other people this may seem as a rejection of their company and therefore they often mistake a HSP for a “loner”. The real cause for being so frequently withdrawn lies in the overstimulations the HSP already sufferes from when his fellow mates are still “bored”. This overstimulation makes it hard for the HSP to be true to his word and keep his appointments at night for to have “an early night” is one way for the HSP to recover from the daily impressions and inner pictures.  Due to these colourful  inner pictures HSP are often very creative. Nearly effortlessly they are bound to express themselves in word, deed and pictures.  In some cases HSP overlapps with the so-called “high intelligence”. One reason why HSP need more time to process their impressions is that they think globally and always in a greater context. If in their daily life the HSP “stop” to take their “time out” they are as a consequence more prone to Burnout and depression.

HSP act intuitively and this also happens when it comes to reading the Manual of machines. In contrast to the USA and Switzerland the topic of highsensitivity has gained a certain interest only in  recent years. As a consequence many people don’t know that they are HSP but think of themselves as being weird. Since childhood they have noted that they are somehow “different” to others of their peer group. Parents’ remarques of this weirdness has led them to come to the conclusion of not only being “weird” but totally wrong in their behavior. Thus for many it is a relief to learn that they are only different because they are high sensitive and their brain functions differently. This realization enables them to look after themselves fairly better without judging themselves for being different. As the author is a HSP herself she wants to share this relief with other HSP and their relatives.

How do we use magical thinking to treat Burnout, depression and traumas?

Magical thinking is one ability of children to overstep all natural laws by using the power of their fantasy. Imagining fantastical beings such as elves, trolls and whitches belongs to magical thinking as well as the belief to possess magical powers. The ability to “think magically” is most apparent when you look at children in preschool. Sadly enough the ability of magical thinking is often surpressed when parents listen to their young kids talking of elves and talking to trees. Very often the parents, in fear of their child “being crazy”, talk them out of “stupid fantasizing” or even take them to a psychologist.  But even if rational parents don’t intefere with their children’s ability to summon the power of their fantasy, the children lose it when the reach puberty. Most of them can’t remember this “phenomenon” once they become adults. Traumatherapy now uses magical thinking to support patients in difficult situations. The patient is to imagine a power animal or imaginary helper that (due to his original trauma) keeps him from freezing under difficult circumstances. In her book “Imagination as a source of healing”  trauma expert Luise Reddemann provides more Information on how the magical thinking of children can be useful for trauma patients; thus how the trauma can be finally integrated into the patient’s life.

In contrast to rape, sexual abuse takes place within the family or social environment of the victim. Sexual abuse happens in all “social classes”. As the offender remains in the immediate environment of the victim and also inhabits positive roles in the victim’s life, sexual abuse is often more difficult to “mend” than rape. The perpetrator who commits a rape mainly comes from “outside”, is unknown to the victim and leaves its environment immediately after the rape. In the victims’ life he plays an “exclusively negative role” and as he comes from “outside” the victim often receives more moral support from her family and from society itsself.

The crime is detectable immeadiatly after the rape by medical screenings. Whereas sexual abuse doesn’t necessarily leave any traces on the victim’s body. Also, als the perpetrator comes from within the family or social environment of the victim it has no clear ending. What is similar to rape is that in both cases the crime is not committed for sex only (except when the perpetrator is a pedophile) but for power. As with sexual abuse and in order to “survive” in the family, the victim identifies with the perpetrator. As a consequence s/he feels utterly responsible for the abuse and incorporates all feelings of shame and guilt the perpetrator must have had at the beginning. During the sexual abuse an undermining of the victim’s self and body    takes places. Consequently the victim is deeply convinced to have less human rights than other people. That is why it doesn’t seek help. As with a rape the perpetrators choose their victims carefully. In families with several kids more than ever the child is chosen that happens to receive barely any emotional support and is also too shy to communicate its feelings. To the offender these characteristics ensure that the victim won’t trust in its own feelings and therefore won’t seek help or leave the situation. Several researches have shown that victims of rapists have been observed by them long before the actual crime. This can happen for example during a bus ride where the perpetrator “tests” the “victim to be” by moving next to it and coming too close to it.

In contrast to a rape, the memory of sexual abuse is often suppressed by the victim and the personality parts that have been hurt are cut off from the rest of the inner self. Very often the original trauma surfaces when the person experiences another trauma. This can also happen during a burnout when the person realizes that s/he has been abused and then has to realize the consequences of the initial abuse in his/her actual life. This happens step by step as the victim can’t remember the sexual abuse nor the feelings of shame, guilt and powerlessness connected to it. Statistics show that 6 % of all children (girls and boys) have been sexually abused. It is evident, that by suppressing the memories of the abuse and the lack of report to the authorities the number of children suffering from sexual abuse must be significantly higher.

What is a burnout?

What is the difference between a burnout and a depression? Many people think that a burnout is the same as a depression. But there are a few differences between a burnout and a depression. A Burnout occurs due to certain experiences and processes in the world of work. It is often accompanied by depressions. Depressions can be caused by a traumatic experience or the memory of a traumatic event. However, some people may have inherited a disposition for depressions where other haven’t. So depressions can occur independently from all outer circumstances. Although men and women react differently when they are depressed the feeling itsself is the same. Women tend to cry more and isolate themselves more whereas men tend to get more irritated and aggressive. In a psychosomatical clinic it is the aim of therapy to integrate a trauma by approaching it step by step together with a therapist. This way it can be integrated into the patient’s feelings without “interrupting” his daily life any further. During therapy all patients learn some techniques of behaviour they can apply when they have a depression. Also they learn how be more in control of their thoughts to even prevent a forthcoming depression.  It is a fact that our inner strength and our bodily resistance are depending on our psychological well-being. Burnout does not reveal itself only by depressions but also by a lacking inner strength, also known as resilience. Frequent infections and other psychosomatic diseases are often a consequence of burnout. Learn how to overcome your burnout and your depressions and how to gain a new inner strength (resilience).

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After a rather unhappy youth and ten years of teaching Renate finds herself in a psychosomatic clinic to overcome her burnout. But what seems to be the result of being burnt out turns out to be a network of different traumatic experiences.

Together with her therapists Renate searches for the roots of her psychological troubles to overcome her burnout. Thereby she is drawn into her life story she is writing. The frozen atmospheres and tragic moments seem to come to life again and leave Renate in shock and horror. The clinic director therefore advises Renate to invent a healing fairy tale to overcome her burnout and regain her strength. Here a fawn, an octopus and a dragon begin their dangerous search for a better future by overcoming sadness. By discovering her extremely strong fantasy, Renate learns to understand herself better.

In an unconventional, tragic but at the same time humoristic way she undermines the well-established daily routine of the clinic.

Four months later Renate is able to leave the clinic as a positively changed young woman. However, her new self has not settled down yet. She flees into a sanctuary. There she is confronted not only with the question of who she used to be but also of who she could be now.

This uncompromisingly honest life story is also meant to encourage people to overcome their burnout and their depressions by seeking help in a psychosomatic clinic.

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