During my third stay in the psychosomatic clinic I had the sudden insight, that I needed to change something about my life „at home“. I couldn’t just go on living as “isolated” like I had done in the past. Also I couldn’t keep “coming back” to the clinic for it would one day mean that I was “out of work”. My problem was, that for years  I had “survived” from “holiday” to “holiday”, to spend it at the sea. Meanwhile I worked, slept a lot because of my being overstimulated, and prepared everything up to the last minute in order to “function” well before and right after my stay at the sea. Like that I didn’t seem to “live” or rather “enjoy life” in the time in between. Now and against all odds I decided to get myself an antiallergic puppy. His name was Kallino. The moment he set his paw into my life it changed completely: I suddenly had a companion who made my days more joyful. I wanted to train him into an “assistance dog” against my depressions and dissociations. Being a baby dog he needed my protection and care. This task and my love for him gave me the power to make my days at home and at work. Even though I was tired at the end of the day, I got to know more neighbours on our daily walks. Also I invited my friends over or even went to their houses for I could take Kallino with me. When I wasn’t in a good mood and he still needed to go outside, I just went outside with him for a long walk. My attention was on him and so I didn’t feel so overwhelmed when there were many families and loud music around us. Returning home after our walk I always felt more balanced and tired but in a good way. And when I heard Kallino snorr beside my bed I knew that everything had been worthwhile.  This is a part of my (changed) life I wanted to share with you dear readers.

Written by Renate Weber