{"id":7338,"date":"2018-10-24T08:47:55","date_gmt":"2018-10-24T06:47:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wiedergeborene.de\/en\/?p=7338"},"modified":"2018-10-29T16:04:19","modified_gmt":"2018-10-29T15:04:19","slug":"my-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wiedergeborene.de\/en\/my-story\/","title":{"rendered":"my story"},"content":{"rendered":"

The story of “Renate or the journey to the centre of the self\u201c<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I wanted to tell you, that my autobiographical novel can now also be ordered (only German version so far) at amazon.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.amazon.de\/dp\/3838212703\/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_BeY1BbWYJGTD3<\/a><\/p>\n

At the same time I wanted to tell you the story of how I came to write this book. 7 years ago my life seemed to be shattered to piece: I had had a miscarriage, my partner abandoned me and I had an illness the doctors didn\u2019t know how to deal with. In the midst of all this turmoil I wanted to understand how everything could have happened to me and why some awkward situations seemed to repeat itself over and over again. I attracted similar people and there was a constant feeling of guilt and shame. Family reunions made me feel exhausted afterwards as if I had run a marathon instead. I wanted to understand why it kept being that way and started writing. I started writing how I felt in these situations and what was said beforehand. I recognized that it were always similar sentences that kept me feeling depressed afterwards. After a while I realized that I felt like this when my perception was seen as \u201cwrong\u201d by those around me. Also I sensed that I had long ago ceased to trust my own perception-as it was constantly \u201cinvalidated\u201d by my original family. Not trusting my own feelings I felt insecure and thereby often attracted people who\u00a0 took advantage of my being insecure (mobbing situations). I often asked myself what I was doing \u201cwrong\u201d. Until the day where I couldn\u2019t withstand my inner conflicts and the pressure coming from outside. It took several stays in the psychosomatic clinic until I could accept my own perception as \u201cvalid\u201d even if it didn\u2019t please others when I talked about how I felt. I also faced my feelings of guilt and shame as the result of several trauma (sexual abuse, being abandoned in Spain, having witnessed September 11th<\/sup> 2001). Also I learned that my withdrawing from \u201cthe world\u201d was not primarily a result of the trauma but a sign that I was highly sensitive and needed a break from overstimulation. I tried not to look down on myself for not being as socially active as other people after work. The book I was still writing about my life became more and more like a loyal companion to me. It was like a therapy for my belief in my own perception: While other people had often turned me down for what I felt and saw in others my \u201cfriend\u201d the computer took my feelings and copied them down without any resistance.\u00a0 My therapists gave me the advice to integrate a healing fairy tale into my autobiography (the continuation of Fulna). This new \u201cworld\u201d I was creating gave me the inner strength to face the conflicts in life. It also gave me a new sense of purpose: For here my perception as well as my creativity could be useful and even have healing qualities. And I sensed that this book I was writing could also encourage others following their own and yet\u00a0 often difficult paths. This is my story and I wanted to share it with you.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The story of “Renate or the journey to the centre of the self\u201c I wanted to tell you, that my autobiographical novel can now also be ordered (only German version so far) at amazon.\u00a0 https:\/\/www.amazon.de\/dp\/3838212703\/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_BeY1BbWYJGTD3 At the same time I wanted to tell you the story of how I came to write this book. 7 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":7339,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7338","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-allgemein"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wiedergeborene.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7338","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wiedergeborene.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wiedergeborene.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wiedergeborene.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wiedergeborene.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7338"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.wiedergeborene.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7338\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7349,"href":"https:\/\/www.wiedergeborene.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7338\/revisions\/7349"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wiedergeborene.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7339"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wiedergeborene.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7338"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wiedergeborene.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7338"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wiedergeborene.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7338"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}