What is calmness? For me personally it means to take a deep breath in challenging situations, to gain inner clarity. Also, it means that if I meet aggressive people I stop myself from “sending an instant reply”. It is a fact that impulsive reactions to accusations result from being hurt in our childhood. Also, it is evident that there are many people who try to “get rid” of their inner dissatisfaction by “attacking” others verbally. If I notice such a “maneuver” I remain silent and observe what is happing inside me. By setting my boundaries in silence I leave the vicious circle of justification and disrespect. Sometimes I achieve this “calmness” and sometimes not. I try not to judge myself for “not succeeding” because I am still practising. However, if I do succeed it feels weird. Just as if I could have convinced the other that I am ok by words and explanations. Now I am conscious that it is even more important that I think of myself as “okay”. Like that I can- similar to self-defense in Tai Chi – put a distance between myself and the aggressor by using my inner power and keeping my energy level high. There is an anecdote from the House of Lords: A lord was insulted strongly by another member of Parliament. He however, remained calm and walked away with a smile on his face. Another representative asked him: -“Why didn’t you defend yourself?” –“It wasn’t necessary.” answered the lord.
This is what I wanted to share with you, dear readers.